Snapshots

I've decided to start a new series that is basically a lazier version of my "currently" series. Just little snapshots of what's been going on around here, with out having to say too much about it. They'll probably be iPhone quality photos most of the time. Whoops. Enjoy !

1. new Jose Gonzalez record

2. three roomies having way too much fun

3. back in that yogurt phase

4. tuesday nights at Crema

5. Rachel Aimee + Me

6. good score from Anthropologie

7. the weather has been a dream. so we celebrate with popsicles

8. catching up with Madison // meeting her pup

9. spring has arrived

10. making new friends is one of my favorite things

11. one of my very favorite things

We're Not In Kansas Anymore

During Spring Break I was lucky enough to spend the week with visitors from back home (see cheesy post title). I got to show them my city. We had endless coffee, tacos, and authentic talks. I also took them to the Natchez Trace Bridge (which is a tradition I've made for all my out-of-town visitors) and snapped these photos. I'm in love with how they turned out! 

I didn't take my camera with me every single place we went because sometimes it's better to pay more attention to who is in the photo than the photo. I enjoyed being present and having valuable time with these two, especially since I don't get that anymore. 

One night, I shared with them how hopeful I am for the year 2015. I don't know what it is, but I just have this gut feeling that this is going to be a big year. I told them I was not trying to be arrogant, but that I've always have great intuition, and I feel like it's a true gift from God. 

Rachel said, "Of course you have great intuition. You knew you were supposed to move to Nashville before you'd even visited." I couldn't believe I forgot about that. She was right! I had intuition that this was where I needed to be when I was 15. I didn't go for the first time until I was 17. Before I ever came, Nashville was all I wanted. All I thought about, all I talked about. I was crazy, I'm sure I actually made people uncomfortable over how excited I would get at the mention of Nashville. People would introduce me to other people just because they had been to Nashville. 

In my mind, I decided it was this fairytale land where music was alive and people were friendly and dreams came true. One time I shared that with an adult in my life at the time and he told me, "it's just like any other city." If I'm being honest, that crushed my hope of what I thought it was. It kind of brought me down. 

But then I came for the first time. I'll never forget driving in at ten o clock at night with my best friend, freaking out with her over the sight of the legendary "batman" building, and then being disappointed that it was just an AT&T building, but then getting excited again because I was finally here.

The thing is, it isn't "just like any other city." And the proof of that is the magic that lies within. I was meant to be here for a reason. And searching for it everyday is magic itself. Getting to show Rachel and Aimee what this town means to me was an unforgettable, treasurable thing. They felt the magic too. I just know it.

I can't wait to see what big things do happen this year. One of them will be that, as a result of coming to Nashville (and loving it!), Rachel has decided to stay with me this summer! I'm stoked. And truth be told, Nashville is a fairytale land where music is alive, people are friendly, and dreams come true. 

Thank you for reading. 

Hello Twenties

Ever since I moved to Nashville, I've been postponing and postponing writing about what it's been like living here. I am a very internal person. With most everything, but most of all, with my thoughts and my words. Especially when it comes to heavy things. I don't typically categorize things, but this specific time of my life definitely goes under the category of "heavy things." With out a doubt. 

Words matter to me. I have to take time to really decide how I feel about something. I try to never go with my first initial feeling or reaction. In all circumstances. I know myself well enough to know that I change my mind. A lot. Too much, even. And because of that, I try to really dissect what happens to me in order to decide how I feel about it. 

Think about that word, decide, for a minute. Decide, as in, make a decision. In my opinion, making a decision requires serious thought which requires a bit of time. I take my time thinking about things. I feel like you have to go through things over time to learn the truth about different parts of life. 

Just know that I have spent time trying to figure out how I feel about living here in Nashville and figuring out what effects me and what doesn't. (I've been trying to write this post since I moved here 6 months ago)

The end of the second week was the worst. I was very ready to come home. Partly because from the moment I got here, absolutely nothing made this place feel like home. It felt like this was a temporary thing, like I'd be going back home to Wichita once it was over, whenever that was. And then partly because I just missed everyone and everything that was 700 miles from my reach. I didn't even want to internalize it. I just wanted to go home. 

But, through God, amazing friends, and thinking hard about it all, I was reminded that I am doing a very unique and special thing here. I've taken the road less traveled, gone down a narrow path. I've made an adventure for myself. I finally have what I've only begged for since I was 15. I'm in Nashville freaking Tennessee. WHAT? The concept (and truth) of this, being that I am in a new town filled with new people during a new chapter of my life and I can be whoever I want to be, is a very beautiful, magical thing. 

What makes all of this better is that not only did I essentially start an entire new life here, but I'm entering a new time of life; my twenties.

The year 1995 was twenty years ago. Which baffles me. I'm nearly finished with a quarter of my life. I remember this time last year, I was lying in my bed late at night, trying to fall asleep but I was thinking about a thousand different things (which happens every night) and it suddenly occurred to me that I was almost no longer a teenager. I started freaking out about all the things I've never done, that I guess someone or something put it in my mind that by the time I was a certain age, if I hadn't done certain things, then my life was basically hopeless. But thankfully, I've gained new perspective since then, and instead of focusing on what I haven't done, I should focus on what I have. So what if I've never been to New York. I've been out of the country. So what if I didn't go to college? I may not be rich, but I'm not in debt. So what if I've (literally) never dated anyone (this one was the hardest to swallow) I moved to Nashville all by myself when I was nineteen years old, and if I had been committed to a serious relationship in Kansas, there is no way I would have followed my dreams and moved here. The cool thing is that I'm not taking the route of the world. I'm not saying that dating and college are bad, I'm saying I am different. Which is such a cool thing! I'm (almost) 20 (on Monday!) and I'm doing exactly what I want. It all feels like a dream. Even when it's hard. I still smile to myself over the magic of my life. I'm extremely overwhelmed by God's love and the Holy Spirit's presence. How undeniable they are!  

The most exciting part about all of it is that I have no idea what the future holds. But in the meantime, I plan on finding out by learning from my mistakes, continuing to step out of my comfort zone to meet new people, listening to Mat Kearney's new album all day, every day, falling in love, writing as many songs as I can, reading books, being thankful for my new job, worshipping God in all my ways, remembering how magical Nashville, Tennessee is, and enjoying being twenty. 

Currently ?

Ironically, one of my new year's resolutions was to blog more frequently. I shouldn't have made that one of my goals, because maybe then, I would have actually followed through with it. Usually whenever I make resolutions, it doesn't take more than a few weeks for me to slouch back into my old ways. In fact, I just now decided (while writing this) that I am absolutely done with new year's resolutions. I can make goals for myself whenever I want. 

Furthermore, I wanted to catch y'all up on what's been going on in my life lately. I haven't been carrying my camera around with me as much as I normally do, but I do have some iPhone photos I can throw into this post. I guess we'll call it a "currently" post, though most of it is old news. I don't think that should stop me from sharing, though.

Here are photos of my New Year's Eve. I spent it with two of my most wonderful friends, Heather and Rachel when I was back in Kansas for the holidays. I adore them. (It's also Heather's 20th birthday today! Crazy!)

My favorite part of being back home was getting to spend every second with my best friend, like the good ole' days. In spite of that freezing Kansas wind and snow, we still managed to get out and snap a few photos. The one below is probably my favorite photo I've ever taken of her. She's beautiful! My heart aches over not living in the same town as her anymore. That's been one of the hardest parts about living in Nashville, being away from my best friend. I love all my friends here, and I am so grateful for them, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but having your best friend in your daily life really makes life much more wonderful. We fully plan on ending up in the same town again someday, but for now, phone calls and missing one another is how we get by. I am so excited for the next time I get to see her, though. We're going to Portland! I just know it will be magical.

I haven't taken too many photos in the last two months that I've been home, but I'll be better about that. I do have some, however.

 This is my sweet friend, Baylee. I like to call her my southern belle. She's from Alabama, and has the most fantastic accent. There is never a dull moment between she & I, because we are both overwhelmingly sassy. Therefore we understand each other. She's just a doll.

This is my church family. Not everyone is in the photo, but the photo is too great not to post. This was at our church's one year birthday party. Tuesday has become my absolute favorite day of the week. I am growing more than even I realize because of how evident the Holy Spirit's presence has become in my life. I can't dream of ever going to another church.

In other news, I drink way too much coffee and eat way too much tacos around here. And I have no regrets. I've also been blessed with a new job as a nanny! With less hours and way better pay, which I happen to think is the perfect combination. I'll be spending my days with a precious 15 month old baby boy, that I'm already so in love with after only meeting him once. I can't wait to have kids of my own. I start the job in a couple weeks, and I couldn't be more excited. 

I guess that's all folks. Thanks for reading this. Whoever you are, thank you.

Kindred Spirits: Zac

It's been a minute since I made one of these, huh? Allow me to catch you up; I am currently back home for the holidays! (Expect a post about that soon.) I haven't even been back for a week, but it's been so wonderful reuniting with all my friends and family here. I plan on writing more about that later, but for now, enjoy a new "Kindred Spirits" post!

When Zac and I made plans for coffee, I knew I wanted to snap some photos of him while I was home, but I didn't even think to do a post until I got home and saw just how great these pictures are.

I have known this man since the 2nd grade. We used to ride the same bus to our school every day. Also, we were born exactly one week apart, so we'll both be turning TWENTY in two short months. How crazy! To think we've known each other for all this time. And what's even better is that we've stayed friends. 

Zac and I are alike in almost countless ways. There is a much much shorter list of things we don't have in common than things we do. We both love words. We're both poetic, lyrical people (I think). We're both story tellers, and we both love to hear stories. I could go on and on. We even have a secret handshake. It's cute.

I am so lucky to have spent the last 13 years watching this young boy turn into a grown man of Christ. Zac has such a humble heart. He's very passionate about the things he loves most. He has such a priority on the things he loves, and it's a very cool, admirable thing. Inspiring, even. 

I wanted to share my favorite memory of us. The summer when we were seventeen, a group of us took a trip up to Kansas City, MO to spend the day at World's of Fun. It was a Friday, two days after the 4th, and it was hot. Extremely hot. We all thought since it was a Friday that the place would be packed, but it wasn't. In several spots through out the park it was like we were the only ones there. Especially at this one ride, called the Mamba. If you've ever been to the park, you know that the Mamba is the tallest roller coaster there, and from what I understand, one of the tallest in the world. The coaster consists of two HUGE drops, with peaks of 205 ft high and 175 ft high. It's terrifying, but so fun. The beginning of the ride is going up the huge mount to get to the top (at 205 ft) and once your there, the tram just slightly tips over to the other side and then you're just gone after that.

Well, since it was so not busy, a lot of us rode this ride several times. And we switched our partners each time we rode it. I think it was our third time riding it when Zac and I chose to be partners. We chose to sit at the very front of the tram. At the time, it was harmless. But then when the ride started moving, and our tram started to go up that stupid 205ft hill, our cart started to make funny noises. Then it started shaking and moving in an un-normal way. Neither of us said anything, but it was clear that we were both overcome with the same revelation: this is the end. 

Just seconds before we got to the very top, about to speed down that huge mount to die, we looked at each other, panic stricken, and like I said, there was no exchanging of words, but Zac quickly reached out his hand for me to grab it, so I did, and then the cart went over the top and we were screaming our heads off. Luckily we both survived, and now have this amazing memory of us communicating the same message with out words. It was so great and I'll never forget it.

His life is in full motion and exciting things are in his future. I'm just blessed to be a part of it. Even if I am 700 miles away, we will always be in one another's lives. 

I would like to end by asking for prayers. My very sweet friend and former co-worker just lost her 10 year old son. He just turned 10 six days ago. He died very unexpectedly. He had autism and he was an angel. I never actually got to meet him, but oh, how I rejoice in the fact that I will get to someday. In heaven. 

This sweet little boy has a younger sister, whom I know is taking this very hard. I can't imagine what my friend and her husband are going through, either. Please keep this precious family and my friend in your prayers. Pray for peace. And rest. And most of all, joy. This woman is one of the coolest, most joyous woman I have ever met, and it was an incredible honor to get to work with her everyday and hear her talk about her sweet son, Gannon. I am heartbroken, but God has overcome all of our troubles and heartbreaks. Thank you for reading this.