Summer's End

Goodness. Can you believe summer is already almost over? Do you realize what this means? This means I am officially a Nashville Citizen. What?????

I moved down on Saturday with my mom and my aunt. It feels super strange, honestly. My first night here, I crawled into my bed to go to sleep and I just felt so funny. This is my home now? How weird! My parents house is not my house anymore. It's just all very weird.

I'm most excited about making new friends and meeting new people and I await the day this place feels like home. Because right now it just kind of feels like I'm visiting. I will have a post soon of our apartment (once it's decorated and such). On a side note, if you were wondering, my roommate is as cute as a button. I haven't gotten the chance to spend much time with her yet, though, since my family has been here with me. But I drove them to the airport this morning and Lauren (my roommate) & I have plans to hang out this evening.

For now, I wanted to share a few snippets of my summer. It was truly one of the best ones I've ever had, especially for it being my final one spent in Kansas. Hooray!

Taking photos with Aleah was one of my favorite things. She has such an incredible eye as a photographer and an even more incredible heart. I am so thankful to have her as a best friend.

I spent most of my nights with these next two. I guess it was bound to happen. We all have the same schedules, for crying out loud. They sincerely are a huge part of why this was one of the best summers. Even if they didn't realize it, they have taught me so much. I went to school with Paige from 1st grade until we graduated, and we never spoke a word. Now here we are and she is one of my closest friends. I am so lucky to have her in my life, especially since she'll be moving to Knoxville, the same week I move to Nashville. It will be so nice having her so close, when we'll both be going through the same things being so far from home. And Zane. Where do I even begin with him? I love how I can be whoever I want when I'm with him. With both of them. I just like to hang out with them. We went on so many adventures this summer that I will never forget.

Fourth of July.

Paige & I went to KC one day. Twas absolutely wonderful. I seriously love her. I can't say that enough. Pretty much we just went for the coffee. How cute is she?!

One night, I cooked dinner for some pretty special people. It was so beautiful and so colorful and I had an amazing time. It was intimate and evening time and fireflies were flying all around and it was magic.

                                      

Here are a few other shots of simple things I was able to capture. Now it's time for the next chapter of my life. I've been waiting for Tennessee for what seems like a very long time. I can't contain my excitement. It's crazy that I'm finally here. 

Living Fearlessly

Have you ever done something where you felt fearless? Like nothing or no one could stop you from doing something you wanted? For the past month, I have been trying my hardest to do exactly that in one particular area of my life; My hair. 

I honestly don't know what ever made me worry about such a thing as petty as what my hair looks like, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that my hair is wild. Wilder than wild. And where I've grown up, that's not really a normal thing. My hair is very different from everyone else's. Obviously because I'm part African American. But I'm not sure what point, situation or event in my life made me decide that different was a bad thing. Because I love unique qualities in people, especially when most of the time their unique qualities are their best qualities. Maybe I just woke up one day and decided I didn't like my hair.

Believe me, I have my reasons for having hated it. And most of them are logical, in my opinion. For one thing, it doesn't grow. It does, but it takes FOREEEEVVVVERRRR. There's nothing that I hate more about it than that. Because, if it were long and beautiful and had flow and just did what I wanted it to for once, I would have started wearing it naturally a long time ago. It is a true dream of mine to have hair to the bottom of my back. For another thing, it's so big. So hard to tame. And you can't try to brush it down because then the curl goes away and it's just one nappy, frizzy ball of… something on top of my head. There are many other reasons, but I will spare you them.

So, about a month ago, on a beautiful, perfect summer night, I was spending time with my dear friends Paige and Zane very late into the night and on into the early morning. It was about two AM or so, and we had been driving around town for a while when it started raining. Pouring. We were stopped in a parking lot and I asked them if they would dance in the rain with me. They agreed and we ran outside, running and playing like we were little kids. My hair was so heavily soaked with the rain that it turned back to it's natural state. (I usually straightened it) They both freaked out, especially Paige, and kept asking me why I didn't wear it like that all the time. And really, I couldn't come up with one valid reason. But, I promised that I would wear it natural in public for them at least once. 

Once turned into twice, which turned into three times, which has now turned into every day since early June. And guess what? I don't plan on ever changing it back. Because, I just don't care. 

I am choosing to live fearlessly. What a waste it would be to continue worrying about something as silly as the hair on my head. After all, everything is meaningless under the sun; a chasing after the wind. (see Ecclessiastes 1:14; aka probably my favorite book in the old testament) I want to have gumption, and be brave. I just don't want to care so much. I don't want to care at all. And now, I don't. Not to toot my own horn, but I have never received so many compliments on my hair, ever. Strangers tell me they love my hair! To think I spent the last 8 years caring so much. 

I feel like a completely different person. Not because I have a new look, but because I have a new outlook on life. This feels like a new beginning, and really, it is. I am moving in exactly one month, and now is the perfect time to be exactly who I want to be. It's so lovely, the thought of me in a new city, starting a new life. And the life I want possesses living fearlessly, confidently. It's silly that I can say all of that because of hair, but after all, I am female.

Please enjoy these photos taken by my best friend in downtown Wichita. And thank you for reading. Seriously.

Kindred Spirits: Rachel

Hey y'all. I have decided to start a post series entitled Kindred Spirits. Each post with that label will display portraits and a back story on someone very dear to me. For example, who they are, how we met, what they mean to me, etc. 

So what is a kindred spirit? If you look it up in the dictionary, it is defined by a person whose interests or attitude are similar to one's own. I first heard the saying when I watched Anne of Green Gables for the first time. (Excellent movie)  "Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world." 

And I can't tell you how blessed I am to truly have a pretty stinkin' good amount of kindred spirits in my life. Maybe that's why I feel the need to start this series. 

So, everyone meet Rachel. Well, actually, you more than likely already have. She is one popular chick. I've yet to find one person that has a problem with her. She is very loved because she loves. Unconditionally. I'm not biased because she's my friend, I am telling the truth because I have known her for so long. 

In high school, I was a part of a group called the NEAH team. I started when I was a freshmen. We led events full of truth, music, skits, and testimonies for young women. Me being musical and what not, I was fortunate enough to perform at these events. At one of these events, a young 13 year old girl was in the audience, and apparently liked my voice enough to tell me so through a Facebook message a couple days later. I thought it was so sweet. I don't remember what it said, but she asked if we could be friends, and I said yes. Her name was Rachel. She was still in middle school though, so we didn't see each other that often afterwards. However, we did go to the same church. We weren't in the same youth group, but we did pass each other a time or two on Sunday morning.

My sophomore year, I met a freshmen named Steven. At our high school, if you rode the bus, you rode it with the middle schoolers. I never once rode the bus in high school (made sure of it) but Steven did, and he rode the same bus as Rachel! And behold, we had a new way to communicate. Which was by writing notes to each other. And Steven the freshmen was kind enough to play the messenger. We wrote SO many notes to one another! I still have all of them in a box in my basement. I was lucky enough to get to know this sweet girl through all the notes. 

The next year, she became a freshmen, therefore we actually got to see each other every day. 

As each year went by, we grew closer and closer. Today she is one of my best friends. She may be younger than me, but she's so wise. She has such a heart for people. She listens to what people are going through and lets them know that they're not alone. She's got a genuine passion after the Lord's heart. I envy it a lot of the time. She is just a genuinely kind hearted person. It's amazing that she turned out that way after all she's gone through. She is much stronger than I think she realizes. I absolutely adore her. 

My favorite thing about Rachel is that when we hang out, we share everything with each other. There's some sort of easiness when we're together. It just comes naturally to pour my heart out to her. We are also a lot alike in a lot of ways. We are kindred spirits. And I am so blessed by that fact. 

She wasn't too comfortable when taking these pictures, and when I would ask her to act natural and pretend I wasn't there, she would scream, "but you are there!" Poor thing. She's still beautiful, though, look how beautiful she is! I hardly edited these photos. Enjoy.

Summer Books

You know how some people have seasonal traditions? Obviously, there's Christmastime, and Halloween and other holidays, but what about seasons? When I think of summer, I think of the Summer Books. That's not what they're actually called, but I have been calling them that for years. They are a 3 book series that have everything you look for in a summer. I might sound like an idiot, but really, these books are great. To me, anyways. 

I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon them but all I can remember is that when I was 15, I was visiting my dad in California with my friend, Audrey, for a week in the summer, and I read the first and second book while I was on my trip. I was hooked. I couldn't put them down. And then, I think the last book came out in April of my junior year, which was a heck of a wait, but goodness, it was worth it. 

This is my fourth time reading them. I fall in love with the story and the characters all over again each time. I won't spoil anything for anyone, but I did want to share some of my favorite quotes. 

"He made it so hard not to love him. When he was sweet like this, I remembered why I did. Used to love him, I mean. I remembered everything."

• The summer I Turned Pretty, page 191

"How do you regret one of the best nights of your entire life? You don't. You remember every word, every look. Even when it hurts, you still remember."

• It's Not Summer Without You, page 114

"I loved him in a way that you can really only do the first time around. It's the kind that doesn't know better and doesn't want to - it's dizzy and foolish and fierce. That kind of love is really only a one-time-only thing."

• We'll Always Have Summer, page 0

I highly recommend these books. Mostly to females. Not that guys can't read them, but I doubt they'd get as emotionally attached as any woman would. Jenny Han is an excellent author. Absolutely love her writing. It's so relatable, and right to the point. And the picture she paints with this story is absolutely beautiful. I am not a romance novel type girl. I really only enjoy classics, crime/mystery books, informative novels, biographies and some fantasies. I don't like reading romance novels because I just don't think they're good for me. I get too caught up in them. Which, these books totally defy that little standard of mine, but they're that good. I love them that much. 

River Festival

This past final Friday of the month Regan, Austin, Aleah & I went to the Riverfest. We had a blast. It was just what I needed. A night off and a night out on the town. It was especially what I needed after resigning as a para at the school. It absolutely broke my heart on the last day. Knowing that I don't get to work with all my precious kiddos anymore makes me very sad. I mean, I have never felt like I had an actual, important purpose at anything more than I did at this job, maybe ever. It just felt right. Leaving them, and the staff at the school, was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I hated it. I want Nashville more than anything, but this part is just no fun.

But like I said, this night out was just what I needed. I was with my favorite people. I also hung out with some fellow Starbucks baristas, Paige and Zane. They're great. Here are some photos.

Sidenote - I finally got my new camera!

This was during the parade, which, after Paige's insight, we all agreed was for the purpose of advertisement.

We started walking east for coffee and found this wall.

I mean, I guess they're cute.

When Zane and Paige showed up.

Geez, am I going to miss them.

Reverie!

Just watch the fireworks.

I just realized this might be my last festival for.. a while. How bittersweet. I really do love attending it every year. Downtown Wichita is one of my favorite places. Believe it or not, I like it more than downtown Nashville. Maybe it just feels more like home. But speaking of Nashville, I will be there in 28 days! I can't believe it's already been almost 3 months since I was there last. Which is 3 months too long. I will get to meet my roommate for the first time, and reunite with my sweet Evelyn. Hooray! We have a home to find, y'all. Prayers are appreciated. I'll only be staying on this visit for the weekend. Then, just a handful of weeks after that, I will officially move. It feels like my whole life has been leading up to that moment. And for the first time, I can see myself pulling out of my driveway, early morning, and actually doing it. I mean, I've been able to envision it before, but it has always seemed so unattainable, so distant. Maybe I can see it now because it is so close. I've even packed some of my stuff already. My goodness, everything is changing. For the better, though. I can't wait to see what life will look like when I am living there. 

Thank you for reading. I am having so much fun with this little blog of mine! 

PS - speaking of blogs, my sister (which translates to myself) just redesigned hers! Check it out here. (:

Currently

One of my favorite blogs, Sometimes Sweet, has made "currently" posts for quite some time now. This is one of my favorite things about her blog. I love that she lets her readers into her life in an intimate way. I am not trying to steal her blogging ideas, but rather, admire them. And so I have decided to make "currently" posts of my own. To let the people who look at my blog get a glimpse into what's going on with me, and for me to be able to look back on down the road. And so, please enjoy.

Currently

Reading:
Into the Wild. I am almost finished. It's one of my favorites. Since I am almost finished though, I went to the Library today after work and picked up two F. Scott Fitzgerald books, and a James Patterson book called 1st to die. I'm not sure what it's about but I love crime, so I'll let you know. I can only hope I have the time to read all of these.

Eating:
Not a lot, actually. Which I know isn't good. But I think my emotions are effecting my appetite. Or rather, my lack of one. I haven't been in the mood for really anything lately. And it's making me a little bit sick. I have felt this way since I went on my trip in March. Nothing sounds good to eat anymore. And if I do eat, it's not very much. I am not intentionally doing this. I just think that so much is happening right now, and big changes are coming soon, and I'm much more anxious than I am aware of, and it's affecting my hunger. The only thing I seem to actually want is coffee.

Thinking About: 
What my life is going to look like a year from now.

Enjoying: 
Air conditioning. Like, worshipping it. The heat lately is killer. Absolutely stifling. I expected it to come maybe in June. Not Cinco de Mayo. How lame.

Listening To:
A LOT of Switchfoot. I just can't help it! My friend Austin and I went to go see them in Kansas City a month ago and ever since, they're all I seem to want to listen to. Apart from them, I just bought three new records and I am listening to those as well. Sufjan Stevens' "Greetings from Michigan" album, "The King is Dead" by the Decemberists, and "My Head is an Animal" by Of Monsters and Men. I recommend everyone listen to all of those albums.

Loving:
My jobs. Years from now when I remember being nineteen, I am going to smile. I work with some pretty incredible people. I shudder at the fact that I only have twelve days left as a para. Which means I only have twelve days left with all my precious kiddos. It is heartbreaking to think that I won't get to see their beautiful faces anymore. Who knows if I'll ever see any of them again. And all the other paras and teachers as well. Will I ever see them again?

Two weeks ago, I got to see my best friend! It was long overdue and much needed. We hadn't seen each other in over two months. Which is a long time in the world of best friends. We saw Local Natives at the Granada in Lawrence. Then spent the next morning / afternoon in K C. We ate breakfast at the City Diner, checked out a new coffee shop called Second Best, (that title couldn't be further from the truth, it was first best) and then hung out at my grandparent's for a little bit to take pictures. She is a great photographer. You can check out her work here. Here are some snippets of that. Enjoy! And May the 5th be with you.